So, it has come to my attention that I haven't done a video game review since June. I didn't even realize I've had this blog for that long. Wow, time in the Summer really goes by quick. And I know that my last review was of another Star Ocean game, but don't think I'm doing these because I'm some huge fanboy of the series. I'm fairly new to the series as a whole, actually, and gave the last one a 7.3. Star Ocean: The Last Hope, however, I was tempted to give two different scores to. By the end of this review you might understand why.
Storyline
This isn't intentional, but I'm starting out with the bad. There is really nothing good to say here, unless your definition of good expands to mediocrity. The plot isn't bad but it is poorly presented and at times is nonexistent. The game starts you off as up and coming officer, Edge Maverick, and only five minutes into the game you're already left wondering who was in charge of the character design. In fact, the characters in this game are so bad that they shut out any hope that this game's mediocre story could ever have. I could write about 10 paragraphs nitpicking little annoying things that they did with this games script and voice acting, but instead I'll just talk about Lymle. If you've already played this game then you don't even need to read the rest of this paragraph to know what I'm going to say. Actually, words cannot even begin to describe how much of an utter gutwrenching abomination Lymle is. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to take a 6 year old character, call her 15 and put her in situations that many adults wouldn't be able to handle. And as if that's not enough, in her world every fucking sentence has to end with the word 'kay. It might not seem bad, but when you have a game with hours and hours of cutscenes, bad cutscenes, 'kay 'kay 'kay is the icing on the fucking cake. I've never hated a set of characters in anything as much as I hate the playable characters in Star Ocean: The Last Hope. That is saying a lot people.
Score: Below Average 3/10
Gameplay
Gameplay in The Last Hope is a mixed issue for me. Unlike the game's storyline, the gameplay has some goods to go with its bads. Some of the goods include its real time action based combat system that plays like a fighting game in ways, as well as the fact that many of the dungeons and areas in this game are designed to be long, challenging and consistently entertaining. So what are the bads? Well, there's a lot of them, but most are just minor issues. Almost every quest is collect a bunch of some obscure item that involves tons of backtracking for an irrelevant reward or "Hey! I'm lazy as shit. Can you find this person for me?". And it wouldn't be so bad if every city didn't have 50 NPC's, or if there were a more convenient method of travel before disc 3. Also, the customization is both promising and a let down. When I first discovered the item synthesis in this game allows you to combine any two items in the game I was really excited. The only problem is that it is incredibly tedious and it often isn't worth upgrading equipment until the end of the game, otherwise it just gets outranked by the next best thing you pick up in a dungeon. And as for the actual item creation, this game creates the illusion that you're going to have a lot to look forward to. Especially later in the game. The only problem is that you keep playing and playing and playing and then you realize you've beaten the game and you still don't have any of the materials required to make the good stuff. In fact, the only way to get most of the best items is to do tons and tons of sidequests that the game doesn't even hint to you exist. You have to just spend about 20 hours guessing, talking to random NPCs or look it up online. And even most online guides don't know about a lot of the secrets. Overall, the gameplay offers a lot but it isn't offered in a very convenient or accessible way. In fact, by the end of the game if you want to revisit older areas in the game you actually have to take out disc 3 and put one of the old discs in. This can get very repetitive if you are gathering an item that is only on disc 2, because you can only do item creation/customization on disc 3. Usually, I like to mess around near the end game and see the extra content these games offer but it's so poorly presented in this game that for the most part I just said "Fuck it!"
Score: Above Average 8/10
Sound & Graphics
At least there's one area of this game to be appreciated. In terms of sound and graphics, this game excels beyond most other games of the genre. The environments in this game have tremendous amounts of detail put into them and the music is almost always perfectly fitting throughout the game. My only complaint here, yet again stems from whoever's job it was to work on the characters. I got this impression that some of the characters, notably Reimi, felt inhuman by their lack of expression. For the most part they didn't even bother to program the character's mouths moving during dialogue. That seems like a pretty big detail to leave out to me.
Score: Above Average 8/10
Final Thoughts
Although certain aspects of this game are atrocious *cough*LYMLE*cough*, I still don't regret playing it. With over 60 hours of immersive gameplay and a genuinely fun combat system, for the most part I enjoyed it. If you happen to have a 360 and you like longer RPGs then maybe you should check this game out, but it's definitely not worth going out of your way for.
My overall score is: 7.0/10.0
Monday, July 27, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
[Game Theory] Risk, Reward and the Perfectionist's Wet Dream Part 1
Today, or I suppose yesterday, I spent hours playing through old Mario games. It all started when I was at my friend Ryan's house. He was playing the original Super Mario Land on his Gameboy Advance. I distinctly remember him complaining about how he had wanted some coins that led him to a trap. At the time, I chuckled and didn't think too much of it. But as the evening went on the thought of this moment triggered something in my mind that led me to think more deeply about the risk and reward of video games and gaming in general. It has always been something that had interested me, but it wasn't until today that I had found it truly fascinating enough to write about. By the way, this is going to be a long article and it is going to incorporate a lot of behavioral psychology and video game references as I attempt to summarize my philosophy behind what makes games fun and keeps people playing.
Often times you might find games offering a plethora of rewards throughout. I would say that most of us keep playing games as long as we are continually rewarded, however it is important that the game offers a variety of different rewards and through different means. This is to ensure that everyone will have a reason to play the game. But for the purpose of this article, I am going to generalize everyone as being either someone who plays a game for pure entertainment to just kill a few hours(simple archetype), someone who plays a game for the sake of completing goals within the game until everything is done(complex archetype), or those who fall right in between these two archetypes of gamers. The typical gamer who is just looking to kill some time will often find enjoyment through completing the levels of the game or finishing the game itself. A good example of this is someone who sits down and plays one of the original Mario games for an hour or two and is willing to let go of the game very quickly after losing a few times. This is usually the result of the loss of the gratification of successfully advancing throughout the game, which can be explained by either a short attention span or just mere prioritizing. This example, of course, is an extreme. The other extreme would be someone who likes a game like Pokemon and tries to actually catch them all. This person typically finds gratification through individual smaller goals set throughout a game that lead up to a final reward which usually marks the end of said person's interest in a game. That is, however, until they decide they want to do it all over again. Now, assuming you have at least an ounce of sanity and are fairly intelligent - because if you weren't, you wouldn't have made it this far - you would fall somewhere in between these two and find yourself fluctuating between them from day to day. As a gamer myself, some days I don't mind spending up to 10 hours in an enormously immersive video game. One where you have to collect things and do side quests, and could spend hours just fighting enemies because the combat system is so refined. But in the same respect, I often times have days where I have plans or am just not in the mood to play a game like that. Sometimes an hour or two of Mario, or a few games of Advance wars is all it takes. So now that we've looked at these archetypes, lets begin to delve into what they really mean.
First lets look at the game you would play to kill some time: the entertainer. The entertainer is typically a short length game, or at least permits you two play for as little as five minutes before it rewards you. In fact, many games that fall under this category typically reward you so fast that there is virtually no depth within the game. To explain what I mean, I'm going to use Super Mario Bros. again. I would be surprised if anyone reading this didn't know a lot about the original Super Mario Bros. Eight worlds, and four levels in each. Every fourth level of the world is a castle and everything you can collect is infinitely available. And did I mention there is no saving? It's about as simple as it gets. And while Super Mario Bros. may be a classic, it is likely that it would not appeal to the complex archetype of gamer. Rarely, will anyone go out of their way to collect every single coin in a Mario level and rarely will that person go out of their way to kill every enemy. Most of the time it's as if you are trying to beat the level as fast as possible. And that involves little dicking around, cutting straight to the reward. Super Mario Bros. is perfect for the simple archetype. In fact, any game you can fully explain in under five or ten minutes probably appeals to this type of person.
On the other hand, there's still the complex archetype. What kind of games appeal to the complex archetype? Well, I would say the vast majority of RPGs, RTS games, adventure platformers and just about any sandbox type of game would appeal to the complex archetype. Although, I would say there are many different branches of the complex archetype. *sigh* I guess I should further explain each of these branches as well.
The first of these complex branches would be the Perfectionist. The Perfectionist is that guy who becomes one with the game. He doesn't skip anything finite and he will try his damnedest to find everything there is to know and do within a game. The perfectionist does not necessarily care about story or strategy, and for this reason is typically attracted to lengthy RPGs. For all you know, he is skipping cutscenes to make time for the level grinding required in his absence of ability.
The second complex branch is the Strategist. The Strategist likes to manipulate the game, and often times strives to spend the least amount of time possible playing a game. If he is playing an RPG he will not train. If it's a RTS then he will cut corners wherever possible. Be it using less supplies, spending less money or even avoiding ocd-like behaviors during the game. The Strategist focuses on a risk/reward mental process while playing the game. He/She is always three steps ahead of the game, and usually has no desire for extra content.
The final complex branch is probably the one I can relate to the most, or at least more than a lot of other people: the Character. The Character is deeply motivated to play the game for reasons tied into the story of the game. Although, not every complex game has a story. Sometimes the character just focuses on what they believe to be the role of their character is, whether it is stated clearly by the game or not. The Character is very attracted to story driven linear gameplay and/or customizable sandbox gameplay, and will often be either severely disappointed or enthralled by the end of the game.
So that's generally how I would categorize gamers based on what types of games appeal to them. I think I generally belong to the complex archetype, and often find myself being a cross between all three branches. When I'm playing a platformer game like Banjo Kazooie or an adventure game like The Legend of Zelda I can be bit of a perfectionist. But I'm primarily a Strategist when necessary and a Character when possible. What are you?
Often times you might find games offering a plethora of rewards throughout. I would say that most of us keep playing games as long as we are continually rewarded, however it is important that the game offers a variety of different rewards and through different means. This is to ensure that everyone will have a reason to play the game. But for the purpose of this article, I am going to generalize everyone as being either someone who plays a game for pure entertainment to just kill a few hours(simple archetype), someone who plays a game for the sake of completing goals within the game until everything is done(complex archetype), or those who fall right in between these two archetypes of gamers. The typical gamer who is just looking to kill some time will often find enjoyment through completing the levels of the game or finishing the game itself. A good example of this is someone who sits down and plays one of the original Mario games for an hour or two and is willing to let go of the game very quickly after losing a few times. This is usually the result of the loss of the gratification of successfully advancing throughout the game, which can be explained by either a short attention span or just mere prioritizing. This example, of course, is an extreme. The other extreme would be someone who likes a game like Pokemon and tries to actually catch them all. This person typically finds gratification through individual smaller goals set throughout a game that lead up to a final reward which usually marks the end of said person's interest in a game. That is, however, until they decide they want to do it all over again. Now, assuming you have at least an ounce of sanity and are fairly intelligent - because if you weren't, you wouldn't have made it this far - you would fall somewhere in between these two and find yourself fluctuating between them from day to day. As a gamer myself, some days I don't mind spending up to 10 hours in an enormously immersive video game. One where you have to collect things and do side quests, and could spend hours just fighting enemies because the combat system is so refined. But in the same respect, I often times have days where I have plans or am just not in the mood to play a game like that. Sometimes an hour or two of Mario, or a few games of Advance wars is all it takes. So now that we've looked at these archetypes, lets begin to delve into what they really mean.
First lets look at the game you would play to kill some time: the entertainer. The entertainer is typically a short length game, or at least permits you two play for as little as five minutes before it rewards you. In fact, many games that fall under this category typically reward you so fast that there is virtually no depth within the game. To explain what I mean, I'm going to use Super Mario Bros. again. I would be surprised if anyone reading this didn't know a lot about the original Super Mario Bros. Eight worlds, and four levels in each. Every fourth level of the world is a castle and everything you can collect is infinitely available. And did I mention there is no saving? It's about as simple as it gets. And while Super Mario Bros. may be a classic, it is likely that it would not appeal to the complex archetype of gamer. Rarely, will anyone go out of their way to collect every single coin in a Mario level and rarely will that person go out of their way to kill every enemy. Most of the time it's as if you are trying to beat the level as fast as possible. And that involves little dicking around, cutting straight to the reward. Super Mario Bros. is perfect for the simple archetype. In fact, any game you can fully explain in under five or ten minutes probably appeals to this type of person.
On the other hand, there's still the complex archetype. What kind of games appeal to the complex archetype? Well, I would say the vast majority of RPGs, RTS games, adventure platformers and just about any sandbox type of game would appeal to the complex archetype. Although, I would say there are many different branches of the complex archetype. *sigh* I guess I should further explain each of these branches as well.
The first of these complex branches would be the Perfectionist. The Perfectionist is that guy who becomes one with the game. He doesn't skip anything finite and he will try his damnedest to find everything there is to know and do within a game. The perfectionist does not necessarily care about story or strategy, and for this reason is typically attracted to lengthy RPGs. For all you know, he is skipping cutscenes to make time for the level grinding required in his absence of ability.
The second complex branch is the Strategist. The Strategist likes to manipulate the game, and often times strives to spend the least amount of time possible playing a game. If he is playing an RPG he will not train. If it's a RTS then he will cut corners wherever possible. Be it using less supplies, spending less money or even avoiding ocd-like behaviors during the game. The Strategist focuses on a risk/reward mental process while playing the game. He/She is always three steps ahead of the game, and usually has no desire for extra content.
The final complex branch is probably the one I can relate to the most, or at least more than a lot of other people: the Character. The Character is deeply motivated to play the game for reasons tied into the story of the game. Although, not every complex game has a story. Sometimes the character just focuses on what they believe to be the role of their character is, whether it is stated clearly by the game or not. The Character is very attracted to story driven linear gameplay and/or customizable sandbox gameplay, and will often be either severely disappointed or enthralled by the end of the game.
So that's generally how I would categorize gamers based on what types of games appeal to them. I think I generally belong to the complex archetype, and often find myself being a cross between all three branches. When I'm playing a platformer game like Banjo Kazooie or an adventure game like The Legend of Zelda I can be bit of a perfectionist. But I'm primarily a Strategist when necessary and a Character when possible. What are you?
Monday, July 20, 2009
Blog Just Got Better
I just adapted a plugin to this blog that will allow you, the readers, to highlight either a word or a header or even a quote and you can search either Google, Wikipedia, Twitter or even post it to your Twitter! Have fun. I hope you guys enjoy it.
Friday, July 17, 2009
First youtube video uploading now!
I'll post a link when it's done uploading. Tell me what you guys think!
Here it is!
My Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/15kalas15
Here it is!
My Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/15kalas15
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
7.15.09 update
So my birthday's finally over, and thanks a drink consisting of 200mgs taurine, 160mgs ginseng, 160mgs caffeine and 200% of both vitamin B6 and B12 I didn't sleep last night.
I spent a good portion of my birthday sleeping in, but when Mom got home we went out to eat at this good Mexican place and went to Best Buy. I managed to pick up a nice headset and a wireless Xbox 360 controller for windows while I was there, so I think I'm going to spend today playing around with some audio and video recording software. I'm definitely looking into making youtube videos in the near future.
Aside from that, I have a couple things to say about the blog:
1) I changed some of my overall scores for some reviews. After comparing some of the scores, a couple of them just didn't feel right.
2) I have three upcoming reviews planned for sure. Star Ocean: The Last Hope (360), Professor Layton and the Curious Village (DS), and the movie Bruno. I also have a special double review planned which will involve me nitpicking every little thing out of the two most highly regarded Legend of Zelda games of all time. Yeah, that'll piss of my nerd readers... I'm only kidding. So yeah, make sure to keep reading!
Oh, and if this post looks like it was written by a retard, please refer back to the first paragraph I wrote.
I spent a good portion of my birthday sleeping in, but when Mom got home we went out to eat at this good Mexican place and went to Best Buy. I managed to pick up a nice headset and a wireless Xbox 360 controller for windows while I was there, so I think I'm going to spend today playing around with some audio and video recording software. I'm definitely looking into making youtube videos in the near future.
Aside from that, I have a couple things to say about the blog:
1) I changed some of my overall scores for some reviews. After comparing some of the scores, a couple of them just didn't feel right.
2) I have three upcoming reviews planned for sure. Star Ocean: The Last Hope (360), Professor Layton and the Curious Village (DS), and the movie Bruno. I also have a special double review planned which will involve me nitpicking every little thing out of the two most highly regarded Legend of Zelda games of all time. Yeah, that'll piss of my nerd readers... I'm only kidding. So yeah, make sure to keep reading!
Oh, and if this post looks like it was written by a retard, please refer back to the first paragraph I wrote.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Yay! I am officially 17!
I've been staying up so lately that I haven't been noticing when days end and new ones start. And although I'm a couple hours late on figuring this out, it is my birthday! Lol. Kind of sad when you forget about your birthday. Even momentarily.
Also, I know I haven't been posting a lot of stuff lately(including a Youtube top 5 vids of the week, which I don't think I'm going to do anymore because it is hard to find 5 truly special videos each week) but I promise I have some good reviews coming up. Including some newer games, some classic games and new movies(including Bruno I hope). That and I may start making youtube videos in the near future and doing a podcast isn't out of the question. Be sure to stay tuned for more in the near future.
Also, I know I haven't been posting a lot of stuff lately(including a Youtube top 5 vids of the week, which I don't think I'm going to do anymore because it is hard to find 5 truly special videos each week) but I promise I have some good reviews coming up. Including some newer games, some classic games and new movies(including Bruno I hope). That and I may start making youtube videos in the near future and doing a podcast isn't out of the question. Be sure to stay tuned for more in the near future.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
[Movie Review] Public Enemies
Earlier today I saw Public Enemies, and in retrospect, the title feels a little misleading. Because I have to be honest with you, while I was watching this movie I was totally rooting for the bad guys. Overall I thought it was pretty good and it gave pretty much exactly what you would expect it to.
Set in the Great Depression, the movie depicts the true story of FBI agent Melvin Purvis's attempt to stop major criminals including John Dillinger. And John Dillinger is, hands down, what makes both this movie and the real-life story behind it so fascinating. A lot of things can be said about John Dillinger, but I think the most important thing that could be said is that he was human, and it really shows throughout the film. This isn't the story of an apathetic psychopath or some delusional, drugged up deviant. There are many little things about yourself that you will be able to relate to John Dillinger, even if he is out robbing banks and killing people who get in the way.
There isn't a whole lot more to say without just spoiling the whole movie, because lets be honest, it is kind of predictable what happens as it is. The only other thing I wanted to really address was that Christian Bale didn't suck too bad in this movie. So if that was a concern for anybody out there - and I'm sure it was - then no worries. But man, Johnny Depp really nailed John Dillinger. Great character plus great actor and a story linked to the history of Midwest crime and the founding of the Federal Investigation Bureau equals what could possibly be the best movie of the year.
My rating: 4.5 out of 5
Set in the Great Depression, the movie depicts the true story of FBI agent Melvin Purvis's attempt to stop major criminals including John Dillinger. And John Dillinger is, hands down, what makes both this movie and the real-life story behind it so fascinating. A lot of things can be said about John Dillinger, but I think the most important thing that could be said is that he was human, and it really shows throughout the film. This isn't the story of an apathetic psychopath or some delusional, drugged up deviant. There are many little things about yourself that you will be able to relate to John Dillinger, even if he is out robbing banks and killing people who get in the way.
There isn't a whole lot more to say without just spoiling the whole movie, because lets be honest, it is kind of predictable what happens as it is. The only other thing I wanted to really address was that Christian Bale didn't suck too bad in this movie. So if that was a concern for anybody out there - and I'm sure it was - then no worries. But man, Johnny Depp really nailed John Dillinger. Great character plus great actor and a story linked to the history of Midwest crime and the founding of the Federal Investigation Bureau equals what could possibly be the best movie of the year.
My rating: 4.5 out of 5
Thursday, July 9, 2009
It was just a rumor...
Apparently the twitter account was actually being run by a hyped up fanboy and actually had nothing to do with Nintendo. So I guess that means no Geno. *sigh*
If you don't know what I'm talking about then read this.
If you don't know what I'm talking about then read this.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Potential New Smash Bros. Characters Revealed?
Read this first.
Yeah. Apparently they are already drafting new character concepts for the next Smash Bros. game. Assuming this isn't just a rumor, that is. Either way, Geno NEEDS to be in another fucking game. And if you don't know who Geno is then YOU NEED to play this game!
EDIT: THIS HAS BEEN CONFIRMED AS BEING JUST A RUMOR.
Yeah. Apparently they are already drafting new character concepts for the next Smash Bros. game. Assuming this isn't just a rumor, that is. Either way, Geno NEEDS to be in another fucking game. And if you don't know who Geno is then YOU NEED to play this game!
EDIT: THIS HAS BEEN CONFIRMED AS BEING JUST A RUMOR.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
[YT5] Top 5 YouTube Videos of the Week #3
I know I'm a day late on this but whatever.
EDIT: For whatever reason, when I embed videos onto the blog they never fit, so I have to shrink their size and this sometimes results in parts of the videos getting cut off. From here on out, I would recommend just clicking the youtube logo on the video(or the link I usually provide) and just watch it on youtube so you can see the entire video. I know for some videos this doesn't matter a whole lot but I've noticed it cuts of some important stuff in this weeks top 5.
#5 Hot Girls Share Hepatitis in Montana
Really funny Sxephil video about the anti-meth campaign in Montana. Just watch it lol.
#4 Oracle of Ages: Part 1 - Grim Beginnings
There's nothing too special about this video in particular, it just marks the beginning of a series I'm excited for.
#3 Black People Are The Borg. You Will Be Assimilated
Hilarious video about Independence day and racism in the media. Seriously, he has some valid points.
#2 2 Girls 1 Truck
The highlight of this video is the clip where this girl tricked her grandma into watching the 2 girls 1 cup video and recorded it.
#1 Chulzy91 returns to Majora's Mask
Chulzy91 finally returns to the world of youtube to finish what she started in The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask! Definitely watch her. She's probably the funniest lper I've ever seen, or a close second to Griffinlobster. Tough call.
EDIT: For whatever reason, when I embed videos onto the blog they never fit, so I have to shrink their size and this sometimes results in parts of the videos getting cut off. From here on out, I would recommend just clicking the youtube logo on the video(or the link I usually provide) and just watch it on youtube so you can see the entire video. I know for some videos this doesn't matter a whole lot but I've noticed it cuts of some important stuff in this weeks top 5.
#5 Hot Girls Share Hepatitis in Montana
Really funny Sxephil video about the anti-meth campaign in Montana. Just watch it lol.
#4 Oracle of Ages: Part 1 - Grim Beginnings
There's nothing too special about this video in particular, it just marks the beginning of a series I'm excited for.
#3 Black People Are The Borg. You Will Be Assimilated
Hilarious video about Independence day and racism in the media. Seriously, he has some valid points.
#2 2 Girls 1 Truck
The highlight of this video is the clip where this girl tricked her grandma into watching the 2 girls 1 cup video and recorded it.
#1 Chulzy91 returns to Majora's Mask
Chulzy91 finally returns to the world of youtube to finish what she started in The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask! Definitely watch her. She's probably the funniest lper I've ever seen, or a close second to Griffinlobster. Tough call.
Friday, July 3, 2009
[Movie Review] Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
So a couple of days ago I went with a few family members to see the new Transformers movie. Now, I know that I shouldn't have high expectations for a movie like this and it might seem like I'm being unfair, but even compared to the first one this movie fell very short.
My first issue with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, is also my biggest issue: the plot. SPOILER ALERT! The entire plot of this movie can and will be summed up in this tiny paragraph. Waaaaaaaayyyyy back during the time of the pyramids there were 7(I think) Primes, including Optimus Prime. It was the duty of these primes to journey to desolate planetary systems and use their special technologies to somehow absorb or convert the energy of the sun to power their homeworld. The only catch is one of them turned out to be an asshole and decided he would try to absorb the Earth's sun and kill all the humans. Now The Fallen aka. asshole, is back to try and steal the energy of the sun. He had his henchman kill Optimus Prime who was then resurrected by the technology that was going to be used to absorb the sun, thus allowing him to stop The Fallen. Seriously, this is probably the worst plot I've heard in a long, long time. None of this makes any sense. Though I guess it doesn't have to; it's a Michael Bay movie. END SPOILERS
My second problem sort of adds on to the first problem, which is of the two and a half hours that make up this movie, two of them are filled with cheesy, nonfamily friendly jokes to which I'm unsure of whom the target audience is. That and every other scene is a close up of Megan Fox. I mean, sure, she's hot. But I really don't give a fuck how hot she is when I'm in a movie theater. It's not like I'm gonna just whip out my dick right there because "HEY LOOK IT'S MEGAN FOX ON THE BIG SCREEN!" Seriously, boners make it hard to focus on the movie. And Shia Lebeeoufffe(who the fuck can spell that shit) is overrated.
I guess that covers just about most of the shit in this movie worth talking about. And this turned out to be more of a rant than a review.
My Rating: 2.5 out of 5
My first issue with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, is also my biggest issue: the plot. SPOILER ALERT! The entire plot of this movie can and will be summed up in this tiny paragraph. Waaaaaaaayyyyy back during the time of the pyramids there were 7(I think) Primes, including Optimus Prime. It was the duty of these primes to journey to desolate planetary systems and use their special technologies to somehow absorb or convert the energy of the sun to power their homeworld. The only catch is one of them turned out to be an asshole and decided he would try to absorb the Earth's sun and kill all the humans. Now The Fallen aka. asshole, is back to try and steal the energy of the sun. He had his henchman kill Optimus Prime who was then resurrected by the technology that was going to be used to absorb the sun, thus allowing him to stop The Fallen. Seriously, this is probably the worst plot I've heard in a long, long time. None of this makes any sense. Though I guess it doesn't have to; it's a Michael Bay movie. END SPOILERS
My second problem sort of adds on to the first problem, which is of the two and a half hours that make up this movie, two of them are filled with cheesy, nonfamily friendly jokes to which I'm unsure of whom the target audience is. That and every other scene is a close up of Megan Fox. I mean, sure, she's hot. But I really don't give a fuck how hot she is when I'm in a movie theater. It's not like I'm gonna just whip out my dick right there because "HEY LOOK IT'S MEGAN FOX ON THE BIG SCREEN!" Seriously, boners make it hard to focus on the movie. And Shia Lebeeoufffe(who the fuck can spell that shit) is overrated.
I guess that covers just about most of the shit in this movie worth talking about. And this turned out to be more of a rant than a review.
My Rating: 2.5 out of 5
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
[ToP Update] Unofficial Title Screen
DISCLAIMER: Content is not guaranteed to appear in final version of game, and may be subject to change.
click to enlarge
I want to look into making the font look better than just the plain white.
click to enlarge
I want to look into making the font look better than just the plain white.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)